If You Cannot Be Unafraid

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This week I learned:

If you cannot be unafraid, be afraid and happy.

Quote taken from this beautiful book.

It’s so simple, and goes along with what I want for my life, which is to worry less, be in the moment more, and yet it’s something I’ve never seen articulated so well until now.

I’m afraid all the time. Of disease, of growing old, of losing someone I love, of terrorism, of screwing up, of never becoming successful, of what other people think of me or say about me, of missing opportunities, of choosing the wrong thing, of choosing the right thing and then somehow squandering it. Of writing the wrong thing, of choosing the wrong life, of being the wrong person.

I worry too much. I know this. I try and stop. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don’t.

But if I can’t not worry–and I can’t, not at all the time–I can worry and at the same time be happy about other things. Like a new blue chair in the corner of my living room, and the basil plant I just bought. How when watering it last night on my deck, I finally made friends with my neighbor, who is a delightfully sweet Russian girl who wants to become friends. How much I am really liking my work in progress at the moment. That there are bagels in the office today. Little things.

This week I am:

Reading This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith. I’ve read her other two books, and they were both super sweet, well-written YA romances, and this is proving to be much of the same. The only complaint I would have is that these books aren’t really ones that stay with you; I end up forgetting the characters’ names and a lot of the plot the moment I finish the book.

Writing The Play Story. 55K words in and somewhere between the first and second turning points. It’s going to be too long, but then my first drafts always are.

Watching I am hooked on this ridiculous, implausible, unrealistic television show. It is the perfect thing to have on when you want to be distracted or entertained, which is all I’m really looking for from TV these days.

Listening to The Spotify top 100 Punk Songs playlist is top-notch.

Cooking We figured out how to use our communal grills in our apartment’s courtyard and have been grilling chicken (him) and polenta (me) with asparagus, onions, peppers, and tomatoes, and it is the perfect simple nutritious delicious summer dinner.

Have a great weekend and I hope you can be afraid and happy too.

Image found here

Things Making Me Think

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Hi Friday, and more importantly, hi warm weather + weekend with absolutely no plans! I’m looking forward to getting some writing done on my deck. How about you?

Here are some things making me think this week:

YAS.

“That’s exactly what the terrorists want, so absolutely not.” Preach.

Agree with most of these, though I’d also add these.

A fear I have from time to time.

How to be a writer.

And  this this thisI need to read this every day.

Reading This is so lovely, but I’m unprepared for whatever emotional punch is coming at the end.

Writing “Play story.” I’m stuck at a boring part. Which probably means I should skip it as I’ll end up cutting it, but having trouble figuring out what comes next, so I suspect I’ll power through. And then end up cutting it anyway in revisions.

Watching I needed a break from alien abductions, so I started this up on Netflix. It’s not the most brilliant show of its time, but it is kind of the perfect have-on-while-cooking-and-cleaning series. And there are six seasons to get through!

Listening to Purple Rain 😦

Cooking I love making (vegetarian) tacos. When we moved last summer, we gave up living near a good grocery store, so I was having trouble finding good tortillas. Lo and behold, we discovered this is actually an extremely simple DIY. 1 cup flour (white or corn), 1/4 cup water,  2 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for frying, will yield you four amazingly imperfect tortillas in less than 15 minutes. With no random unpronounceable ingredients. DIY FTW.

Have a great weekend!

Photo by Firdaus Roslan on Unsplash