Tootsie

Running a blog, you always have to make the decision of which parts of your life to reveal on the internet and which parts to keep to yourself. As someone who is terrible at hiding her emotions and pretty much incapable of lying, I find this especially hard. However, the past couple of weeks I’ve written cheery blog posts because I didn’t want to talk about the thing keeping me up nights.

Our cat passed away this week. That cat I complained never let me sleep, the one who was distinctly ungrateful of the fact that I’d rescued her. The cat who meowed her way loudly into our laps and our hearts. She wasn’t with us very long, but watching her health rapidly decline these past few weeks and then having to deal with the question “when is it time” was one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. The morning we decided that there was nothing more we could do and it was time to take her in was one of the worst I’ve had. I spent the entire day swallowing back tears at my desk.

Now, a few days later, I feel more at peace. I can sleep through the night, not being constantly woken by the fear that she’s in pain. I know she’s not. I know she’s up in kitty heaven meowing down at us. I know we gave her a loving home for the past six months of her life, and I think she was happy there. So I guess that’s all there is. I’m still sad.

Here are some things helping distract me this week:

Yes, please.

The best movie of the ’90s?

Definitely the best movie of the ’80s.

Incredibly inspiring.

And kind of contradicts the last article, but thank you for this.

Reading: Finally started this! But so far it’s kind of meh. I hope it picks up.

Writing: Play story. 30K words in and trying to figure out how to make my protagonist less whiny.

Watching: Same thing as last week. It has been a wonderful distraction.

Listening to: On a Bruce kick.

Cooking: This is actually amazing.

Have a great weekend. As for me, I will be spending my time trying to not cry because it’s over, but smiling because it happened.